My 153rd Post

Hello Hello. Everyone, I'd like you to meet my 153rd post on Blogspot. Say hello, feel free to get aquainted. Maybe leave a note on this momentus occaison of blogging.

I have been thinking about things lately. Shocking, I know, but I have been. The things I have been thinking about are how it seems like Christians are the most screwed up people out there. Not the "real" Christian's, mind you. They are authentically cool and I love to hang around them. But those who seemed to have placed religion and rules in the place of God really are a strange bunch. I often wonder about them.

I often wonder about me, so at least I'm not one sided.

For example, I was in this Christian bookstore the other day just looking around. I ran into a friend of mine who is really rad and has a huge heart for healing. We talked about some crazy healing stuff and how we just want more. And the whole while we were getting the WILDEST looks from the staff -- like, "How dare you talk about that." or "You are insane."

I kind of like the "you're insane look". It always makes me laugh.

But that wasn't the only thing. The people there are just strange. Flat out strange. Not strange like me - I know I'm not normal, but strange in the fact that I was a littel freaked out. For example, a man who wanted to see a male manager of the store. I thought, "hmm... cool... at least he is reaching out for help." But the reason he wanted to see a male manager was because of offensive material in this stores advertisement..... WHAT?? Who complains about offensive material in a Christian Bookstore Flyer? And what can you possibly find offensive? A lady with eyeballs that you find attractive on the cover of some book?

Or some other people who you know are trying their hardest to keep it all together, but since they are trying so hard it is squishing out in other ways. I can't possibly begin to explain that one. Just believe me that my eyes were wide as saucers and my heart was breaking.

Is it because we are fed the lies not to be honest with God and with who He really is? I often wonder that. I would suppose that if I believed... and I mean really honestly believed, that God would only be pleased with me if I was perfect and pure and holy and did everything perfectly right and if I messed up the most powerful force in the universe would truly be mad at me, then that would probably warp my sense of security, self worth and the way I viewed my world and myself.

You know what I mean? What if all God wants is our honesty and for us to really try our best in living with Him. I'm not going to go around and try to hide my sin from God. Last time I checked, He does actually see it... and still loves me. I'm not going to try and be perfect for Him, but I will try my best to be me for Him. After all, didn't He create me -- so the very fact that He created me should tell me that I have something very personal to give to him that only I can. And if I stop trying to do that or tweak it and change it in some what, God's not going to get what He created.

I don't know exactly where I am going with this.

I think I am discovering again the two edges of this whole Christian thing. You can either toss Jesus out of the equation and serve rules and self righteousness to attain your salvation, or you can toss Jesus out of the equation by being so "real" you forgot there was actually a standard in the first place.

I'm getting off topic. I wanted to talk about how some Christians are just plain wierd. But I guess you find the weird ones on both sides of the fence. Is this part of the straight and narrow that Jesus talked about? You can throw out your salvation by rules, or lack of rules.... or... or... BAAAAHHHH!!!!

I just want Jesus.