I'm Gonna Kill Jesus!

You can always tell when my life has gone from normal to insane levels of mayhem. It’s when I stop blogging. But now that I am posting a blog, don’t you be thinking that anything has changed. I am learning new levels of time management and cutting out portions of my day for the all hallowed practice of the blog.

You may question the title of this blog in particular. No I have not gone off the deep end. Well, I have, but I have maintained my mind in relative fashion. It just goes along with a story I’ve been really wanting to tell you guys lately. It has to do with a little boy we know in our church. He has a certain knack for always saying the most incredibly strange things. I think he is far too intelligent for his age and therefore very strange and hilarious things will come out of his mouth.

In Sunday School the class was learning about the armor of God. Remember that scripture? You know, the helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, sword of the spirit. This little boy really liked the sword of the spirit part, but failed to listen to the entire idea.

After the little teaching the teacher said, “Okay, now what are we going to do with the sword of the spirit?”

The little boy proudly shouted out, “I’m gonna kill Jesus!”

Hmmm…. Something was lost in translation.

Speaking of lost in translation I had the immense privilege of hanging out with a certain Pastor Boris all last night. Pastor Boris is from Kiev it the Ukraine. He is seriously Ukrainian and his English is really good, but sometimes not so hot. I think the major part that ceases to make sense is the cultural differences.

Needless to say we had a great time spending the better part of an hour in Shoppers Drug Mart buying gifts for his leaders. Did I mention Pastor Boris is the pastor of the largest messianic Jewish congregation on the entire planet? So he has a few leaders. All of whom are getting a prized gift from Boris’ trip to Canada – underarm deodorant.

Yes, that’s right. He bought literally $50 worth of deodorant. I’m sure everyone in the store thought this guy was flat out nuts. Daniel and I honestly thought we were in a movie. It was so funny. What was even greater is when Boris got out his massive wad of cash to pay for everything. Suddenly this crazy man wasn’t so crazy.

Anyway, we then drove through the worst rain storm I’ve been in for quite some time. Marble sized hail, the road disappeared under water, geysers were shooting up from the sewer grates, lighting and thunder everywhere… and we were happily driving through the middle of it trying out best to work out the language barrier while laughing hysterically the entire time.