24 Hours of Birth

Last night I watched the second hand on my watch click over to 12:00am. The official first second of a brand new year in the life of Kayle. Interesting. I'm 24 now and the first day of 24ness feels pretty good.

I always tend to get somewhat introspective on my birthday. I don't think that's too bad of a thing. Mainly because if I look hard enough I'll find God in there somewhere and that starts a race of dreams running through my mind.

These journey's we call life sure can be a little exciting, can't they? And I'm just starting out. I like to think I've learned a thing or two over the last leg of my journey. It has been somewhat full to say the least.

****WARNING: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ KAYLE'S SAPPY INTROSPECTION THAT MAY MAKE ZERO SENSE ABORT READING BLOG NOW****

Okay, if you are still reading then that's your own fault. It's time to blab. And I want to watch the clock tick off the last second of my first 24 hours of being 24. That's in about 45 minutes, so this could be an astonishingly long entry. Plus I bought myself ColdPlay's new CD and it's aiding me into creative, dreamland.

So this journey of life. One thing I really like about people is they all have such incredible stories once you get deep down. They may think they are boring, but they are not. There is a vein of gold in there somewhere, you just have to find it. And once you do... look out... because you've just found the reason why they are alive. You've found the very essance of life in a person and usually it's rather potent. If you want to feel privilege, just hold onto that vein you eventually find in people and see where it takes you. If I have learned anything, that could likely be one of the best.

And it will come at the most random times. But you'll just know when you find it. I was in Kiev, Ukraine once helping minister to about 7000 very hungry people. Much of the congregation happened to be made up of the largest messianic Jewish congregation in the world. That was neat. But that's not the point to the story. Amidst those 7000 people I found one. This could quite possibly be one of my favorite hobbies. Finding the one.

This one was a guy and I don't remember his name. He spoke no english. I spoke no Ukrainian or Russian. I could say basic prayer phrases, but that doesn't help in making friends with someone.

We were at this location for about four days, three sessions a day and almost every session I would find this guy or vice versa. I can't explain anything other then there was a devine finding of the vein of life in each other. You could just stand there and feel such a heavy presence of God. He would point things out to me and I hoped I would understand what he was getting at. We prayed for each other on the last session and I can honestly say that was one of the most holy moments of my life. I think about it very, very often. I remember to pray for this guy when I think about him and I always wonder what his name was. I always wonder if I will meet him again on earth, and if not, it will be good to meet up again in heaven. So that's why I remember to pray. It will be neat to get to heaven and see exactly who carried you in their heart and lifted you up to heaven for years and years and you never even knew it. It will be cool to see the effect people have had on each other.

I can remember walking into my hotel room in Moscow and looking out the window at the bleak surroundings and standing there just thanking God over and over that I lived and grew up in Canada. What made it be that I was born in Canada? How different my life would have been if I had somehow popped out and had grown up in Moscow. There was just grey and black everywhere. It was horrible, yet strangely curious. It was raining. People were walking all over the place. I could see a huge factory a few blocks away. The government had turned off the central heat, so my hotel room was freezing. Nothing we could do about that! We were told that we were lucky that the government had not yet turned off the hot water like they do every year for about three months. They do it to service the lines since all the hot air and water are made in central factories. Our hotel floor grandma took good care of us though and piled a TON of blankets onto our bed when we stayed there. That was nice.

I can remember flying out of New York City this one time and I was so grumpy. Someone we were travelling with took my seat and made me sit with some strangers rather then with our team. I snapped at him and made a fool of myself to the person I was sitting by. I could have been because just hours before we were flying into JFK and we were in this holding pattern over the Statue of Liberty. I almost puked. But I did get to see the Concorde take off. That was cool.

I once drove all over Argentina in this little van that was packed full of people. We drove all through the night from Cordoba to a little town called Villa Maria. It was horrid. I was the only Canadian and everyone else thought it was so cold, so they cranked the heat up like you wouldn't believe. The place I was sitting was sandwiched between two other people and the heat vents were RIGHT on me. I thought I was going to die.

But when we left Cordoba we left on a high note! It was immediately after this crazy service with mass healings going on and people getting absolutely wrecked by the power of God. I remember I was waving my tie at people and they would go flying. The best part was when they realized they could do it too! We saw a young girl with severely deformed legs be able to walk on her own. She wasn't totally healed, but she could walk without crutches and everyone was weeping because that was such an improvement.

We were in the gym that was about 90,000 square feet. The place was MASSIVE! Windows were broken all along the roof and when we started to pray for people these huge bugs would fly in and land on people. That was kind of funny. They were probably about the size of your thumb and would just plop down on people. But nobody cared. We just wanted God.

That was Cordoba. And that was only one story. We went to Villa Maria, Rosario and Buenos Airies too. We got stranded in Sao Paulo which is a story in itself. Funny... going in we got stranded in Sao Paulo and when we were leaving to fly back home we almost died flying into Sao Paulo. We flew through the hugest thunderhead I have ever been in and actually got put into a holding pattern that flew us through it. Now that was what I would call turbulance! Interestingly enough I was sitting beside Bill Johnson who about a year and a half later would become my pastor. I had basically no idea who this guy was then. That's funny...

I remember moving to Redding and getting some of the best advice of my life from a good friend of mine, Krista. She took me aside, looked me right in the eyes and said, "Kayle, live every day here to the fullest. Don't hold back. You are going to have to leave here eventually, but live as if you will never, ever leave this place ever. Go as deep as you can. Go as deep as you can with God. Go as deep as you can with friends. Don't hold back at all. Go as deep as you can and live like you'll never leave these people."

That's good advice. I discovered that when you know you're going to leave you kind of hold back. Why make deep friendship's with people you know you'll leave? It makes sense to the head, but not to the heart. That's why Krista's words were the best advice I have heard. California is where all my dreams came true.

I met my Love. I met my God there. I had seen Him in different ways all over the world and in so many different people. But not like this. I never knew a God like this existed. My breath was taken away on a daily basis. I spent hours and hours every morning in the Prayer Chapel and then go say hi to my wonderful friends in the church office. The afternoon was dedicated to school of ministry which was beyond life changing. I met God there. I really met Him.

He's beautiful, you know.

I met Him watching the sunrise one sunday morning before church, sitting outside the Prayer Chapel. I met Him one evening when I picked up a flag and danced like nobody was watching. I met Him whenever I played bass for a service. Especially on Sunday mornings... what a vantage point I had! To see that many people lost in worship and to have the priviledge of laying down the groove for thousands of people to meet with their God. Some of you reading this were there. You were beautiful to watch all the time.

I remember this one time I played with Don Potter. Mike Haggerty was playing drums and we went to this place in worship that I never thought existed (that happened a lot in Redding). We went backstage with Don and tried to say something... I don't even know what... and all I could do was weep uncontrollably. And I mean weep! Don asked me a couple of times if I was going to be okay!! haha... that was funny... All I could keep saying was, "I never knew that existed... Nothing will ever be the same again..." And Don just laughed his Santa Claus laugh and kept saying, "You'll be okay, son... you'll be fine."

Mike's dream came true. He played for Don a lot and now is Jason Upton's drummer. He never wanted to leave that place of worship and now he's on the cutting edge of it all. Go Mike Go!

It's nice to meet God in ways that you just don't know what to do with yourself. Literally. All I could do was stand there and bawl my face off in front of one of my long-time heros.

I remember hardly being able to breath when I realized that my time of departure from Redding was coming and it was coming way too fast. I cried a lot. It scared me because I couldn't avoid it. It was like this huge wall coming at you at 100 miles an hour and you couldn't do anything about it. This is when Krista's advice came in handy. "Live like you'll never, ever leave this place, Kayle."

I spent many moments that are too private and too Holy to talk about on this blog in those last days in Redding. Nothing compares. I met my God in Redding. I met my God in more ways then one. I met my God through the Jesus that each person represented to the world.

It will be interesting when this journey called life is all said and done. I don't always understand why I had to leave. I don't always understand why I am where I am at right now. But I do understand that I am on a journey and I must keep moving forward. It might not feel good sometimes. It may feel like your heart will never be whole again, but the only way out is in. You just got to keep going. I may not always know which way to go, but as long as it's towards my God I think it'll all end up right.

I think I'm done writing. Here's the words to a great song that I am listening to. I always look for songs that play how I feel. I think this is it. "Swallowed in the Sea" by Coldplay. You really need to buy their newest CD. It's amazing...

You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong

You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me

And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
Or swallowed in the sea

You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling that's when I
Decide to go to sea

You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see

Well I could write a book
The one you'll say that shook
The world and then it took
It took it back from me

And I could write it down
And spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
And you'll come back to me
Not Swallowed in the sea

I could write a song
A Hundred miles long
Well thats where I belong
And you belong with me

The streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well that's where I belong
And you belong with me

What good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see

Are the streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long?
That's where I belong
And you belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea

You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea
You belong with me
Not swallowed in the sea